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David Cameron, general election, online spoof of Tory billboard adverts., teen pregnancy figures, Tory Party, Toyota

Toryota Camron – Total Product Recall

 There are renewed fears for the future of the Toryota firm  this week as further flaws have been discovered in the company’s leading models. The brand image of Toryota has been seerious damaged by the mass recall of thousands of policies over the last few weeks. Their once top selling model, the Camron – supposedly and environmentally friendly vehicle – has turned into an erratic death trap, unable to run in a straight line and seemingly having lost its ability to stop at junctions. 

    “My Camron is all over the place,” said one disgruntled buyeer. “You just don’t know where it’s going from one minute to the next”. In its latest mishap, the Camron careered into Scotland without proper guidance and ended up colliding with political reality.  Then it was found that the speedometer reading was out by a factor of ten. 

  Toryota had looked like becoming the top sellier in Britain during the last couple of years as its fresh-faced models benefited from a mass advertising campaign.  Pictures of the Camron appeared on billboards across the land, attracting much attention from consumers bored with other brands that have been looking their age.  But the shiny new exterior concealed serious flaws in the construction of the leading Toryota model. The billboard ads have had to be pulled from the hight streets because of online photoshop parodies.  

    Unpublished blueprints showed that there were unresolved issues in its financial management system.  Promises that it would be much cheaper to run a Camron, because of its new green image, turned out to be false. Its security system has also been giving trouble and many people who have bought the Camron say that it just doesn’t perform in they way that’s promised. Attempts to conceal the flaws in the Camron only made matters worse.  

Embarrassed company bosses have had to make grovelling apologies for ambitious early claims made for the vehicle.  Shares in Toryota have been on the slide since before Christmas and there are fears that punters could dump their stakes entirely before the all important public floatation in Westminster in May.

  Sales of Toryotas have been particularly weak in Scotland for a number of years. Toryota had become a by-word for flash, overpriced and English.   Earlier models simply couldn’t cope with the numerous potholes and zig zag bends in the Scottish high road.  Questioned about why he once again came to Scotland without a functioning sat nav, the boss of Toryota insisted that problems with the brand had been exaggerated. . “Look, Scots will be buying literally tens of Camrons come May 6th., you mark my words” he said.  “You can be taken for a ride by us or you can stick with  your boring old banger which isn’t going anywhere at all”   

   The government says it is considering extending for the popular scrappage scheme to cope an expected deluge of people trying to get rid of their Camrons in the next three months. 

About @iainmacwhirter

I'm a columnist for the Herald. Author of "Road to Referendum" and "Disunited Kingdom". Was a BBC TV and radio presenter for 25 years - "Westminster Live" and "Holyrood Live" mainly. Spent time as columnist for The Observer, Guardian, New Statesman. Former Rector of Edinburgh University. Live in Edinburgh and spend a lot of time in the French Pyrenees. Will that do?


7 thoughts on “Toryota Camron – Total Product Recall

  1. That was quite amusing. You should think about using a spell-check though!

    Posted by Douglas Daniel | February 17, 2010, 12:46 pm
  2. And you're a University Rector? Twat!

    Posted by Anonymous | February 17, 2010, 12:53 pm
  3. Very amusing.

    Posted by Hythlodaeus | February 17, 2010, 1:17 pm
  4. "And you're a University Rector? Twat!" (Anonymous)^ Hi David?

    Posted by Anonymous | February 17, 2010, 6:46 pm
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  7. What's all this about an SNP cover up of chid abuse in Aberdeen involving the Lord Advocate ( some foreign sounding lassie ), some police officer called Major, social workers, nurses, sheriffs, the First Minister, Kenny Macaskill, Nicola etc ?Sounds pretty far out yet when a reporter tried to investigate he was jailed and silenced. When the BBC tried to investigate then they too were silenced.WTF is going on Ian ?

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